Tale of an Idiot

Once upon a time... I believe it was around 3:30 on a Monday afternoon. I was sitting in my apartment in my recliner, looking out the window and drinking a glass of water. I noticed something in the sunlight a little ways away. It was the 300 foot tall woman. She was looking particularly lovely today. I never really noticed her before. She had always been there, I guess. Not very much of a surprise. I saw her often, but today... Oh, I don't know, today she looked different. Standing there on the corner of 42nd and Vine streets in the lot where the old McKasky building used to be. Just watching her made me feel happy. Love? I don't know. I shall have to do some acting. It took me three months to fill my cup of courage enough to talk to her. At the end of the third month, I drank. Did recon. I walked past her as fast as I could, my head down, my eyes looking at my feet, my heart pounding out of my chest. I walked right by her and kept on going. About 20 feet from her little toe, I stopped. Oh, screw it! The drink kicked in. I walked back and tapped the tip of her little toe. Curiously, she looked down, squinting because her glasses were not on her person. "Hi" I said. What else was there? She knew me. I knew her. It was a small town. She bent over and picked me up by the back of my shirt with her fingers. I rose all 300 feet and became level with her face. She stared. All at once a look of shock and recognition came over her, and a big smile krept across her face. "Oh, it's you!" While 300 feet may not be a whole lot in her big world, it is quite a distance in my puny little one. It took me several seconds to fall the whole way. As I fell, thousands... nay millions of things went through my head. Faces, places, friends. Past, present, future. Family, chances missed, mistakes made, failures done. I splattered into the windshield of a passing car like a bag of wet cement. In that instance, I recall thinking:"Women can't help being women. They're just born that way, I guess."It is a tale told by an idiot to himself while he wallows in self-pity.
Written by me. 01/18/1995